Friday, 22 March 2013

That Lonely Boring Between Place

You know when you're single and your only friend isn't?
No, you don't know that feel?
What’s that you say? You have more than one friend so you can't relate?

Well fuck you then.

I might not be as good with people as you so yeah, I only have one friend.

And don't tell me to go out and make some friends, because i have made a few attempts and I just ended up with extra people on Facebook and a missing Daria box set.

This weekend my best friend (Diana) is going to her boyfriends dad's wedding and I’ll be...I don't fucking know. Watching TV, Cooking, Cleaning, Masturbating (no wait i have my period) so maybe I’ll go see a movie.

There is also a good chance i might drink a bottle of wine and re-visit my ex boyfriends happy holiday photos with his new skinny girlfriend on Facebook.

Although when i looked at them on Tuesday I hyperventilated got a horrible pain in my chest then cried myself to sleep.
It's very strange because I was a good 70% positive that i was over him, at least enough to not cry when I see photos of him and his slutty skank face hook nose tacky bimbo girlfriend.

It's hard to admit this but i think i might be lonely.
Sometimes I try and call my sister but she never picks up.
Yesterday I even went on just to talk to someone, but I just got frustrated after 2 minuets of me saying "what should I do on the weekend?" and CleverBot responding with "why, don't you trust yourself?”

So here I am, nearly 22 years old in the prime of my life sitting in bed crying over some guy in my panama pants with the crotch stained from all the times a pad didn't quite cut it.

I feel like a young Bridget Jones, except when I eat my feelings I will probably go to the bathroom and spew it up later.

Wow that's funny because as i write this i'm drinking wine in my pajamas, something i do a lot of the time, sometimes i'm reading a Cosmo or a Cleo mag trying to find out the secretes to men and tips on how to live life. 

What do other single girls in there 20s do on a weekend when they don’t have any friends?
I went out last weekend and picked up (you can read about Mr Big in an earlier post) so i don’t want to do that for a while and Anti Flow is in town for about a week.

I guess they go on dates, or go shopping. But i really need to save money and i don’t know any hot men let alone men in general. 

And to make everything worse, today two people from work has asked me what I’m doing this weekend, that is when a normal person would say "oh nothing, but hay there is a open are Ben and Jerry's open air cinema on and its closing week, we should wet some people together and go"

But thanks to my social anxiety i can’t do that, i just make up some bullshit story that i am going to a friend of a friends wedding and that I’m super busy on Sunday with something.

I just can’t handle the idea of people trying to make friends with me. it makes me feel sick and go red faced

Once some girls in the office asked if i wanted to go for drinks, so i made up an excuse and nearly fainted. 
I have even had people at work ask me to lunch, so i pretended to be very busy and that i had to stay at my desk.

Maybe i can make my own fun.

*insert thinking music from Jeopardy here*

I know, on Saturday i won't eat a thing and all day i will drink Vodka, and when i get really drunk i will go for a run and see what happens.
Maybe I’ll trip over maybe I’ll vomit in the gutter, or maybe I’ll just stumble around.

umm on second thought i don't think that’s such a good idea.

I can't believe how lame i am!

Being single really frees up a lot of time, i wish my laptop didn't over heat every time i attempted to play The Sims 3, that game took up a good 4 hours without me even knowing it.

Sorry for the extremely dull blog post today people.
So to make it up to you please enjoy these pictures of cats in amusing costumes and hats

*insert hillbilly car chase music here*

*sigh* its ok, none of this will matter when i'm a famous blue grass singer.

Anyway I'll think of something better to write next time

xoxo The Awkward Girl